This Kenyan sojourn was, like so many before, a wonderful mix of glorious landscapes, abundant animals, soul-soothing views, eclectic characters, great stories and belly-aching laughs.
First a wee note. A group safari with guests who don't know each other is risky in our hyper-polarised world. Imagine dinner in the Masai Mara on the first night. Lions roar in the grasslands, hippos grunt in the river below, an owl hoots in the deep shadows of an East African green-heart tree. A bat flits into the dining tent, causing a small family of terrified Parisians to dive under the table shouting 'merde' and 'ou est la sortie' (I paraphrase).
At another table, a guide (me) eats with two couples who've just met. They're all really excited about the safari. Polite conversation starts the evening, but then someone makes a comment to test the waters. 'Y'all go huntin' much? I just shot the biggest buck of my life - great addition to the trophy room.' Martha from New York turns the colour of her vegan beetroot carpaccio. She slams her fists onto the table and stands. An expletive-laden tirade begins… and it's night one of ten…
Mercifully, my most recent safari saw a couple from South Africa and one from the US develop a remarkable rapport over ten wonderful nights. There was quite a lot of refreshingly candid chat and differing opinions.
The Great Rift Valley
We began inauspiciously with a road trip from Nairobi to Loldia House, a Governors' property on the banks of Lake Naivasha. I cannot fathom why we drove. Suffice it to say, I will not be employing this method of transport to the Rift Valley again. There seems to be an impression amongst some safari logistics companies that luxury safari travellers desperately want to see a country, warts and all. Some people, however, do not want to see any warts - especially when they include near head-on collisions with dodgy trucks on a road originally designed for nothing wider than an emaciated bicycle.
The somewhat terrifying trip was worth it in the end (but we'll be flying next time). Loldia House, our first safari location, was a delight. As soon as we drove through the gate, the calming influence of the wild began to work its magic - fever tree forests, acacia woodlands, open plains and 7000 warthogs.
The house is set on the banks of Lake Naivasha, surrounded by lush gardens overflowing with colourful flowers and teeming with birds, weavers, sunbirds, thrushes, robins, waxbills and cheeky bulbuls who thought every morsel served was entirely for their benefit. The most impressive plant in this verdant oasis was a giant sycamore fig, limbs drooping to the ground giving off a sense of patient wisdom and peace.
We had one full day in the Rift Valley, and we spent it in nearby Lake Nakuru National Park - a remarkable wildlife area centred, you'll be gobsmacked to hear, on Lake Nakuru - a shallow, alkaline body of water. The park delivered all of its specials - flamingos, black rhino, white rhino, black-and-white colobus monkeys and my highlight, the Rothschild's giraffe - a mammal lifer for me.
We picnicked beneath a massive fever tree in the company of the most enormous leopard tortoise I've ever seen…he wasn't very chatty, indeed he was positively aloof, but his blinking eyes indicated he was not yet departing for the afterlife as he eyed our Loldia picnic in the cool shade.
Loldia to Amboseli National Park
The next part of our safari began at Wilson Airport, a little domestic hub, named for its wealthy widow founder, Florence Kerr Wilson. While a first-world traveller might initially balk at the hodgepodge of buildings in various states of disrepair, I've always loved it. The atmosphere is unmistakably exciting - small planes come and go continuously, each carrying a gaggle of excited travellers to the varied and wondrous Kenyan safari destinations.
Traveller's note: Governors' Air takes the 15kg limit very seriously. If you are a photographer, you need to restrict yourself to undies and a thermal shirt if you have a large camera rig.
We flew low-level over Nairobi National Park before climbing into the clouds briefly, before dipping again to bank over the marshes, scattering great-white pelicans and sending a hippo diving in objection. A few moments later we were on the runway inhaling the dust (and there is a lot of it) of Amboseli.
We spent a good two and a bit hours drifting towards Elewana Tortilis Camp. Our attention was arrested by huge flocks of flamingos (both African species), great-white pelicans, glossy ibises, red-knobbed coots, myriad herons, teals, ducks, geese and one exceptional serval who has developed a taste for fish (instead of rodents). All of these and more were in the alkaline marshes that seep from the ground, fed by the melt off Mount Kilimanjaro - hitherto hidden from us by a bank of clouds.
Tortilis is on a relatively private Maasai-owned concession, which means that a stay there makes a direct contribution to local lives and therefore the wellbeing of the greater Amboseli area. The camp itself has all things required on an East African safari - comfortable tents, glorious views of the mountain, friendly staff and delicious food.
Now permit me a brief rant. Kenya grows and then processes some of the most magnificent coffee on God's green earth. It matters how you prepare the stuff however…good coffee badly prepared can taste like a beverage made from the dung of a deeply unhealthy dik dik. There is nothing, in my opinion, safer than a French Press for making coffee. It is simple and you can vary the strength to your taste. Sadly, as technology takes over our lives, many safari camps have eschewed the old FP and now have machines, where pushing one of an array of buttons will deliver various designer 'coffees'. I am not sure what these machines do to the beans between the grinding and the arrival of the liquid, but it needs to stop. Once beautiful Kenyan coffee becomes bile-flavoured acid. It is very convenient to make, but very inconvenient to pass through the human digestive system - indeed, I am confident a vulture's constitution would be defeated by this evil stuff.
I am happy to report that Tortilis has French Presses in abundance and also a giant coffee machine - the old kind that makes only black coffee and not new-fangled abominations.
Out in the field, we enjoyed some magical time with elephants, and we were treated to that most sought-after Amboseli experience - elephants walking across ephemeral Lake Amboseli. Importantly, our lodge guide, John, was friendly, knowledgeable and very polite when explaining that I was talking garbage to our guests.
While elephants are the main attraction, Kilimanjaro - which emerged from the clouds on numerous occasions - provided a spectacular backdrop to the cameo characters on the Amboseli stage - zebras, wildebeest, Thomson's and Grant's gazelles, impala with giant horns, and olive baboons behaving in a shameless, X-rated manner.
I always feel sad leaving Amboseli, but the thought of the Mara precluded my crying too obviously as we lifted off and turned for the west.
Amboseli to the Mara
The forests on the banks of the Mara River, in which Governors' Camp nestles, conjure a unique atmosphere. Governors' is a Kenyan institution and it has an understated feeling of old-school East African hospitality. It is unpretentious, comfortable and, best of all, right on the banks of the Mara River with access to both sides. This is crucial if you have come to see the migration.
The river cuts the Mara into the Mara Triangle (one third) and the Masai Mara National Reserve (two thirds). The wildebeest, when they come to Kenya, can be on either side of the river and they can cross it multiple times during their visit to the Mara. If you are not staying at Governors' or one of their associated camps (Wilderness Mara, Il Moran), then you only have access to one side of the river…so if the herds happen to be on the wrong side, sorry for you, try again next year.
We spent our first day in the main reserve - enjoying the antics of the world-famous Marsh Pride and now much-beloved WildEarth characters. There were elephants drifting through the forest, the now typical baboons behaving like lust-crazed delinquents, buffalo attended by swarms of cattle egrets and flotillas of hippos belching and grunting at us as we enjoyed our picnic on the river. The highlight of the first day was a giant crocodile lurking on a beach rather too close to where one guest went to find relief…she hasn't moved that fast in 50 years.
The second day saw us on a full-day expedition into the Mara Triangle. The old pontoon that used to ferry guests across the Mara has been replaced with a swanky suspension bridge. Just walking over it is a safari highlight - you can stand in the middle looking down at the hordes of hippos and wonder how many guests on the pontoon ended up with holes in them (I don't think many in case you are genuinely concerned).
Our reason for crossing the murderous Mara was simple - word had reached us on the bush telegraph (well, actually on WhatsApp - 4G coverage in Kenya is superb) that the thundering herds of the migration were making their way into the Triangle. And they did not disappoint. We spent most of the day amongst hundreds of thousands of wildebeest - grazing, running, drinking, and bleating their way steadily north into Kenya.
I have tried to describe being amongst the abundance of the migration, and have always fallen short. It is equally difficult to convey in photos - but suffice it to say that when I staggered into my tent that evening as a glorious afternoon storm exploded around me, my heart was full, and my soul content. Also the evening Tusker lager that washed the day's dust from my parched throat was so much sweeter.
Dreams of a return
Driving up to the Musiara airstrip for the short hop back to Nairobi always makes me think about the next time I'll be in the Mara; it makes it far easier knowing the next Kenyan safari is already booked. I'll be back for the Amboseli dust, the diminishing ice cap on ancient Kilimanjaro, the other-worldly riverine forests on the Mara, the black storms rolling in and, of course, a delicious Tusker at the end of another perfect Kenyan safari.
Sound like fun? Join me on the next one, or start planning your own - either way, the coffee, the crocs and all the other wonders that don't begin with C will be waiting.
